So I've decided to move house and take myself over to tumblr.  Its been getting a wee bit messy round these parts and it seems as good a time as any for a fresh start else wheres.  For those of you who care to follow my badly written pap and scribbles it'll be under the same url as before over in this general direction... neparlepasfrancais.com . A bientot!


20% off me

Theres still time to get 20% off everything in m'shop before tomorrow night if your that way inclined.  Go go go!  Type in JUNEYAS at the checkout for your sneaky discount and a virtual hug and a kiss.



another ef'ing What I Wore Today

Since it seems to have become a friday tradition for me (and also to celebrate Gemma Correll's fabbitty blog being made into a book!) heres another wee What I Wore Today drawing that I lovingly procrastinated my afternoon away on.  (And one from last week that I forgot to post, silly me).

Hopefully I'll be able to share some other things I've been working away on (other than my crabbit tete that is) very soon.  

Sneak peak of one of those things... shhh. 


wore what I today

A wee spot of friday afternoon procrastination in the nation.  Its the Glasgow School of Art degree show tonight and I am distraught to be stuck up a mountain and not dancing about in the drizzle with cheap-red-wine lips.  For all those who are going, give the walls of the Foulis a wee lick for me, and say hello to my flat mates blood stain on the stairs of the Vic.  

For those of you who can't go neither, we shall have to content ourselves with a bottle of vinegary wine and this.

Hurrah for degree shows!



I've finally (after a truly embarrassing amount of time) got my shiz together and gave my shop a good clean up, hurrah!  So with this in mind, and cause I'm feeling a bit giddy after all this unexpected snow I've decided to have a wee sale for the whole month of June.  Type in JUNEYAS at the check out and you'll get 20% everything in the shop.  YAS.  

the first of june in the middle of no where

France has been playing a funny old game with me recently.  The weather seems to have lost the plot.  Its been swinging from trying roast me alive to freezing my bits off in the space of a few days.  One might be led to think it doesn't want me here.  What a tart.  

Got some exciting projects coming up that I wish I could share with you, but I've been sworn to secrecy by a ninja  I should be able to share with you soon.   

Happy JUNE, woo.


what I wore the other day (a little hungover)

Its been a while since I done one of these, actually its been a while since I done much of anything apart from be surly arse hole behind a bar.  'The season' is nearly over though (hurrah sob boo hiss) so I'll be back to drawing myself silly all day, woooooo pee!  

*Did I say right side of my body?  I meant left.  


Monica died.  Meet Monica-Deux.  I shall try not to kill her quite so mercilessly this time.  I PROMISE. 


p.s. likes

By the way, if you like good giveaways, you should really have a swatch of this yin from the bold Shielagh Tacey. A belter.

*Photograph courtesy of Shielagh Tacey

le chapeau (giveaway WINNER)

So, I done gone stole a beret off a frenchie and pulled a name out it.  I didn't really have time to do another video of me acting like a fanny because of 'the season' so I did a crap doodle instead. I SPOIL YOU.

To get on with it and finally put you (and me) out our misery, the winner is....


Wooo, congrats, you can now offend people on the bus daily with ease.

Anyway, as always, apologies for my crapness of late.  Incase you weren't in the know (which would be lucky for you as I moan about it constantly) I work the winter ski season in my mountain in a restaurant on a ski slope.  And as this winter has been gloriously sunny practically every mother hubbarding day since January this particular season has been absolute bedlam, or as the french would say LA BORDEL.

Well the busiest time has just about passed - so as long as no more of my work mates crack up and run for the hills - we should be starting to get days off again giving me more time to eat cheese and draw bitches.  Yas.

Finally, to tide you over, should you wish to imagine me behind the bar in france land my style of customer service goes a little something exactly like this (with more beers and hot chocolates and less burgers).  Take it away Bernard Black.


another wee GIVEAWAY init

In amongst getting more than a little over excited about the tattoo good times back there I've also just noticed that there are bang on 100 beautiful mentalists liking my smelly wee facebook thingymabob.  To say thanks I've decided to get my arse in gear and actually throw the giveaway I've been promising for a good month, because I do appreciate people putting up with my shite patter, really I do.

So, to win a rude tote bag and a handful of other bits and pieces such as bagdes, mirrors, postcards and banana skins, pop a wee comment here or on my facebook majumbo before the end of Feburary. Emails and prank phone calls are accepted also, as are head and bum pats.  Yas.  Good luck!

Just got sent a photo of my angry polar bear freshly tatoo'd (how the ffrick do you actually spell that? tatooed?) on a real persons body. 

Excitement level FACTOR TEN!  My socks have just been knocked right off.  Happy days.


bonne annee

Happy New Year init!  Goodness gracious jings crivens I hope you all had a lovely festive bit back there.  As you might have guessed I've been back in France for a bit now and am also back playing surly barmaid (my favourite role) for the ski season, hence the ridiculously late wishing of happy new merry seasons greetings.

For anyone interested in my rubbish life, my december re-entry into France was just as much of a joke as my exit two weeks earlier.  In fact I struggle to think of a time in recent history when my comings and goings haven't been riddled with calamity.  This time I put the blame firmly on the scammy little effers that go by the name of easyjet.  After luckily dodging another cancelled flight due to snow I arrived with my two suitcases, one full of gold and the other full of teatowels in spectacularly good spirits.  Mostly thanks to the morning after glow of a fake christmas dinner my darling mother should be bloody proud of and a little bit thanks to being a tad high on a breakfast of home made Tablet.

Pridictably though, my happy little world came crashing down pretty much as soon as I entered the airport. When checking in I was cheerfully told that even though I had paid for an extra suitcase for my flight, this counted not a jot for my weight allowance which was still 20kg for the lot and not 20kg for each suitcase as I had assumed.  And my reward for purchasing a bag of air but naughtily filling it with gold and/or tea towels? A £200 fine.  Naturally, the good natured Glaswegian that I am, I hit the roof and beat everyone I could get my hands on to within an inch of their lives.  Until they offered me a reduced fine of £140 instead, to which I put my belt back on and told them "hold that thought" and phoned my mother.

Luckily, mother came through and sent my sister's boyfriend to the rescue and in a taxi to collect my other suitcase (which I spent an hour packing the night before to make sure it was exactly 20kg, raar).  He's a proper hero init.  So if you ever come across a lad named Scott Coupar, buy him a pint from me and give him a cuddle.  And if you ever come across a company called the jet of easy, kick them in the nads and run as fast as you can.

Anyhoo enough ranting for one day, the real point of this post is to offer a promise that I shall be trying my hardest not to completely fall off the radar for four months again this year.  It might be a little bit odd round these parts while I struggle with toursists and exhaustion and a hearty waffle addiction but to make up for it I'll be throwing a giveaway at least once every month of the ski season.  First one probably starts tomorrow.  Or the next day.  I'll keep ye posted init.

Merry eleventh of January, wooo!