I win

Today I managed to survive not one but two perilous events in France. First a trip to the doctors on my own, achieved with one part 'special person' French, two parts sign language. More importantly though, I finally won at the vegetable queue in the supermarket. Before now I've always lost at this task and it is much more stressful than it sounds.

In British queues you patiently wait your turn - not so in France (with vegetables anyway). When waiting for your vegetables to be weighed as soon as the person in front of you is finished (and if your talented, before) you shout bonjour and throw carrots on the scales. If you don't, the person behind you will and everyone will know you are not French and therefore inferior.

Har har France I win. Soon I'll be more French than you.